Kathleen-Jane

I've decided I really should blog more.

So here goes...I'm loving college at the moment. The fact that most people doing sciences take more than one subject in that area makes it really easy to get to know people, I never thought I'd see the day were I can make new friends on my own accord. It's a shame some people have to ruin it, please just enjoy yourself for once.

I love that Cass is part of the college crew!


Cass, Carmella and I have decided that now we are offically part of MedSoc we're going to get labcoats with our names on the back :L
I like to think of us as the 'cool' geeks and Jo's Chemistry enrichment as the 'weird' geeks.
I can tell this is going to be productive! :D
Definately better than what Ryde High would have done to help.

I don't miss it like I thought I would, Don't get me wrong I miss the people but I can tell this is going to be great for my education, especially after hearing how bad Miss Allen is at Biology. I got an A in my psychology exam eventhough I didn't revise and we hadn't even finished the assumption yet.

I guess you don't realise how hard they're actually working you, I just figured it was part of A-levels.

Really?
I'm perfectly fine as I am, why do you have to change it?
Although you said it could be 'For the Best' you also said it's a matter of 'Trial and Error'.

They're completely controlled by medication, there's no way to know whether I've grown out of it. No test or scan and prove that...

And if this is the only way then I'd rather not know, it's not worth the risk.


You have no idea what it's like. How terrifying it is to worry about that all the time. And how you just want to run away when you know it's coming, your head feels compressed as if it's between a clamp, you feel sick to your stomach because you know it's inevitable. The pain afterwards, a current of electricity has just run through your brain, your so disoriented you have no idea where you are, or who these people are...the people you've known your whole life. It's scary.

Doesn't sound like something you want to 'Trial and Error'?


But I've put it off for a two months now, I've run out of excuses. It's now or never.
I just wish the second one was an option.


But I'll know by Monday if I can do without them, I've timed it pacifically so no-one else has to be around. I would hate for people to think of me like that, helpless. And I know you would all be scared.


I really wish I didn't have to do this.



On a lighter note... Imagine seeing this when you're entering the Childrens Ward at the Hospital.



This was the cause of about 87% of my childhood nightmares.


Representative of a crash victim maybe?



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I think I'm getting the hang of this... althougth it took my 20 minutes to put the picture straight but I think thats to do with me being a perfectionist.


:)


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I have decided, after long deliberation, that I would be completely open on my blogs.
I read back through my last one and thought about how embarrassing it was, then realised that it was a blog about Christmas. How is that embarrassing?
And seeing as you guys are the only ones' that will follow me- My life isn't that interesting- Then why would it matter if I was open on here?

Seeing as I can't be like that face to face, then this would be the best way. You see I have a problem when it comes to showing emotion. I CAN'T cry in front of people. I think the most I can mange is crying to Bella, and even then it has to be down the phone.
I think it's because crying shows weakness, and I've always had to be the strongest in my family.

So whatever goes into my diary will go on here.

Minus names, severe bitching, and my deepest darkest secrets... basically anything that I don't want to be found on the Internet.


And just in case you where wondering I haven't written anything in my diary since my last blog.
This is merely an informal blog... informing you of my openness.

They won't all be this boring. I promise.

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I’m lying on the couch, wearing my giant ‘I love D.C’ tee-shirt and wearing my fuzzy, pink, knitted socks with tiny teddy bears sown onto the sides. In my peripheral vision is a giant, lit up Christmas tree. This is my favourite holiday of the year. Hands down.

Today I was out and about in Sandown all day, and when I walked back to my nan's, I saw loads of families doing last minute Christmas shopping down the High Street… I’ve walked that road and seen those shops ten billion times. Somehow they’ve never looked as perfect and welcoming as they did tonight. It was Thursday night and there were cars jammed into every last parking spot available. I could see the smoke billowing out of fireplace chimneys into cold winter air. It’s the holidays. People are coming together just to spend time with one another and something about seeing that just stuck with me. I love everything about this time of year, but mostly the way people find ways to be with the ones they love. And I love jumpers. Everyone is wearing jumpers right now.

Sarah, my sister, is 13. But she acts four at Christmas. She runs around the house yelling “PRESENTS!” It’s pretty great.

I haven't laught this much in a long time, you know the kind where you feel as if you're about to die because you literally can breath. I love my family so much :)

It's Christmas tomorrow!! I don't feel as excited as I should, and I don't know why... I don't have anything in particular worrying me, I think It's because I'm getting older and the novelty of Christmas is wearing off. Something I never wished would happen.
But I guess growing up is inevitable?

But on a brighter note...

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

:)

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